The Grass is Not Greener

I am always amazed by situations. When dealing with couples, families, individuals, business’s, and crisis support, what really is the source of all or may I suggest most problems is that there is something else other than this.  That there has to be a better partner than this, or relationship, or making the wrong the decision.  Yet we are given what we are given in the moment.  The only person to change it, is the person creating the problem.  Let me make a suggestion, the grass is not greener over there, it never will be, why? Because well lets say you are in a relationship and/ or about to make a job decision. Sooner or later you will come to a point where someone at the table offers you a chance to maybe leave your relationship for them, through flirting or games, same can happen in a job.  So lets say you get in your head and think about the option.  What would you do? Most people it seems would really think hard about the option.  Neglecting that what they already have is the option.  In a society addicted to love, romance, sex, power, greed, it never fails to blow my heart when a couple splits because the other believes there is something else, then two weeks later all the things they left their partner for, amazingly show up again, so maybe it wasn’t the partner, maybe it was the “The grass is always greener”.

I had a client offered amazing job, his whole life would change if he took it, better pay, but they would have to move their kids.  Well my client discussed it and said that looking back on the decision he was driven by pride, and money. He up and took his family across the country and within two months the company that had offered him pomp and circumstance, went under.

Another client lost his relationship. He had a friend he had known for years and they occasionally flirted. My client had just found the right person at the time and didn’t realize that he was nervous about this being the one.  So he said, “One night he and his old friend met up and they did a little flirting and the next thing they were meeting up two nights later with out telling his partner. ”  The next thing he was leaving his partner  for his friend, and now he was excited again. He said, ” him and his friend moved quick, it lasted for one month, then something told him he was wrong, and realized why him and his friend where just friends, they split up.  He didn’t realize how much he was addicted to the excitement more than the relationship. He said relationships scared him because he had to be himself and didn’t know how to that.  After realizing this he tried to get back with his old partner.  She didn’t return his calls for months, she wanted to be respected and valued. He realized he thought the grass was greener. Well they got back together and he got comfortable being himself, they have been married happily for ten years now.

The grass is not greener, most of us are addicted to the excitement of the beginning more then we are excited to share our life with someone.   Or build a business with trust worthy people, or enjoy the makings of a great career. We are not patient but patience is a long term thing.  So if right now you are thinking there is something better, or greener over there is, probably not, the diamond right where you are. Relationships are ebb and flow, different from drama created relationships. So enjoy what you have and stop searching.

Thanks for the question from Pakistan.

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Blast Off!!

Many of you have seen a rocket take off, whether in a movie, TV show, or in real life.  As the rocket launches into space, the men and women on the rocket are leaving what they know to enter a vast unknown.  The astronauts have done practice runs, trained, and yet they are still entering an unknown. There is excitement, adventure, and aliveness.  This is true when we leave on vacation,we go to explore new territory, people, places, and things.  The newness of the vacation brings joy. The same sense happens with skydivers, mountain climbers, athletes, dancers, entertainers, in their craft. The new project brings a sense of aliveness.  

Aliveness is new, which is what the present moment holds for us when we leave what we know which is the past, our old ways, old ways of relating, old habits, old stories, and embrace what is.  We see how new life is, how infinite, and how alive. Yet when we keep dwelling on the wrongs, or we place expectations on something, or need to be right and make others wrong, then we lose the aliveness which is present now.  

Freedom is free.  Love is free. Kindness is free.  And in turn, hate is free, fighting is free, and holding on is free. One takes a lot of work and the other is simply open to explore the possibilities of now.  There is a reason why we hold so tight to what we know, because if we had to surrender to a new way of being then we are afraid we couldn’t handle it or we don’t deserve it.  Which is not true? So the practice of being is a practice.  

We live in a knowledge is power society. Computers, fast food, get it now, spit it out, move fast, and yet that is old and recycled living.  We are each adventurers in the present. Exploring the possibilities of the unknown.  Remember when you loved something and didn’t know how to go about it.  You were excited, in tune, alive, and couldn’t wait to take it on.  Can you imagine waking up everyday and not knowing how exciting life would be? Can you imagine trusting everything that is unfolding and knowing you can handle it with ease? Can you imagine how big you actual are without the past? The past is done, you are free to explore, question, judge, condemn, which is fine, or you can explore right now and see the infinite.  It is up to you. Choice is free. Choose to be present with now, or choose not to be.  

My hope is that you choose to explore now fully, presently, and openly.  Be open and let it open you up to what you don’t know about YOU.  You matter, you are everything. But big deal unless you explore what that means.  Let no man or woman take that away from you.  YOU MATTER.

Live like an astronaut and explore the mighty frontier of life now.  Be an explorer of NOW. Jump and you will be excited where you land.  

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