Relationships: Stop making them wrong and yourself right

I just read something that was sent to me, it read, “when you are in a relationship and you are wrong about something admit it, on the other hand if you are right keep quiet and move on, relationships are a team not a competition.”  In working with couples, the biggest communication break down is misunderstanding. That’s all. Either one just needs to be a little clear without imposing a view on the other.  Understanding comes first in understanding yourself, knowing yourself, as you become clear on who you are, relationships become clear.  Most relationships are built on a concept of prove it to me. Because people’s ego’s have been hurt in relationships they enter a relationship with the idea of  being hurt.    When you enter a relationship in defense or lack of trust, then it becomes a slippery slope.  You become pride filled and above the other person. As they get close you pull away, and make them prove their trust.  Over and over.  You may say to them you would like something, lets say to watch a specific movie, so your partner gets the movie and you decide that wasn’t enough, your not satisfied, your partner has not met your expectation, even though that is what you said.. So you withhold from them till they shower you with gifts to prove they are good enough for you.  This push and pull is considered normal in relationships, with constant tests, mind created expectations, manipulating the other, and control all of which come form lack of understanding the self and your partner.  When you choose not to understand your partner then right and wrong become weapons.  “I told you, you should’ve done what I said, you are wrong, I am right,” really just old unresolved hurts, mistrust, of what. Of life. As you understand yourself, you understand life has seasons, changes, grows, moves forward, and is patient.  Some relationships can’t move forward because one partner is unwilling to move, they seem stuck in the past, concerned and comparing what it used to be, rather than enjoying the journey.  People addicted to love and loving, create drama in a relationship where there simple is none.  They need the excitement of something, so rather than enjoying right now, they create in their mind obstacles to get over, problems to work on, push the other away, some will flirt with others right in front of their mate, and even partake in scandalous relationships, just so they can satisfy their urge for heightened energy.

There is really nothing exciting about being right and making someone else wrong, or making someone prove that they love you over and over again. In fact it is tiring and so most relationships end, rather than nurture each other.  A relationship is like breathing, it needs the space to expand and contract, and know both is okay.

Another reason relationships take a turn is the lack of understanding and compassion for each other. You think that would be present but because people are not present with each other, they create problems.  How wonderful to sit and laugh for the night.  One of the biggest problems is the comparison game. Some partners compare others relationships to their partner,  “If you don’t full fill my needs then I am out the door, you know so and so my last boyfriend had this, you don’t have it.”

How quickly you can stop and be with yourself through out the day would make an incredible difference in the relationship. Find things you appreciate about your partner, find the good, stop pointing out what isn’t working, and look what is, improve communication by not putting them down and expecting them to read your mind. People cannot read your mind, so let them know what is going on, give up telling your partner about all your relationships, and respect who you are with. When you are away from each other enjoy that time, so when you come back together you can enjoy that too.  If you find yourself away and want to know if what you are doing is the right thing, ask yourself, “Would I be doing this if my partner was with me now?” If not, please walk away form the situation.  Keep things simple. Spend time meditating together rather then watching TV. Find space where you are not working all the time and checking your cell phone. Checking your cell phone in front of your partner all the time, gives off the impression there is something better than this in your life. The grass is not greener, trust my experience with clients. What you have should be honored from both parties, not one.

 

Embrace your differences and be happy to explore them.  Save your self the hassle, stop making each other right or wrong and accept the other person where they are. If you want to change your partner, stop, breath, and ask what you can change within yourself. Relationships are not factories of changing, fixing, saving, they are places of exploration. IF your partner is going through something, be with them. Let them experience it.  DON”T TAKE THINGS PERSONAL. If your partner is taking things out on you, maybe it is time to stop, and ask them to take a time out.  I hate to break the news to you, but when you blame, complain, lecture, lash out on your partner, that is yours to own, not theirs, so get real with yourself, and be real.  Your feelings are yours.  OWN THEM.  This is a team, a team of growth, understanding, healing the old, and love. Love is kind, generous, and giving, not taking, and remember the quicker you appreciate them the quicker the relationship will return to love.

Questions, sessions: email: semajse64@gmail.com

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Light of the World

January 1st 2012- Welcome!

Let me make a suggestion for the new year.  Sit down with a piece of paper and pen, and write yourself a love letter.  Then sign it and put it in a envelope and send it to yourself.  Romance yourself.  All the things you wish another would say about you, say about yourself. Be thankful for all you bring into people’s lives whether they see it or not is of no concern. You are seen in realms, you are just now waking up too.

When you get the letter, read it and see how you feel. That feeling of love is how the universe feels about you and everyone 24/7. That is real.

You are the light of the world and the love of the world and the peace of the world.  You are the world. There is no-thing, nothing, that shines as bright as each one of you. The universe has no story about you, it only knows you as itself. Pure light, pure love, pure honesty, pure laughter, pure life, etc…

Yesterday we learned to heel. Now lets us accept whose we are and who we are.  Stop making excuses, complaining, blaming, and start radiating. Radiate love with hugs, touch, meet your friends, lovers, partners, for the first time now. Stop telling people you know them, or you know your partner, because you don’t.  Discover them now. See them now, without stories of yesterday. Live now. Radiate listening. Stop filling the air with nonsense and hot air. Start filling the air with well intentioned hearts. Speak only from your hearts, not your minds. Listen to the beautiful sound coming from your friends, partners, family, strangers, that sound is their unique sound. Nobody has it. It is theirs. That is how light sounds, their voice, your voice has a unique sound. Love it, embrace it, let it vibrate from your heart (The center of your spine).

Radiate, radiate, radiate your light, love, peace, hearts, hugs, kisses, all day long.  See how that transforms a room.  Who cares what others think? Thinking is old. How does your heart radiate now? Joy, laughter, and love.When you are connected to your heart, you are connected to the divine. It activates intuition which means IN TO IT. Intuition is God thinking. It feels like a whisper, a gentle nudge, loving you.

You are the light of the world.  Loving you and seeing you right now.

Happy 2012 Radiant Beings of Love! Pass this on…be lovers not thinkers- Be Heart filled in 2012….

Christmas

Dear ones Christmas is a much anticipated time for the world.  As described around the world as a day of peace.  Some dread Christmas and holidays, and some are very excited to share.  As a child most of you were excited for this day.  And like a child that is expecting a gift on Christmas day, you too should wake up every morning and expect a gift of love, laughter, peace, and abundance.  That same expectation you had for Santa is the same feeling you should have for each day.  What will Spirit bring you today? What miracles will come? That is what you want to see deep down inside of your self.  You are looking for a miracle, a healing, to happen. So today expect it.  Forget where it might be coming from. Just expect a healing or miracle.  Expect love in your life.  In this time some of you choose to dwell on being alone, but know you are never alone.  So talk to us about what you are asking for. We will help. Ask to see your life as a miracle. Ask to be healed. Ask to see your life differently. Ask as you know, and it will be brought forth.  Now as a child when you really wanted something, your feelings were up leveled, heightened, and very excited. That same type of feeling must be the true place of your asking. Anticipate that the miracle is here now. Anticipate your healing.  You are children of love.  Over Christmas and this holiday season, pray for your selves and the world. See pink and gold light as you, and place it over the globe. You are each powerful conduits of love and when you place your attention on love, miracles, healing they  happen.  So surprise yourself.  Ask to see your life today from love. To see others from love.  To see family and friends and strangers from love.  Your work has been very hard. You have worked hard to create fear, now create love.

Mary giver of life

I ask you for protection and love now

I ask for complete forgiveness for the conditions I created in my life

That brought about disharmony both in me and others

I ask that today I see the Christ light in myself and others

I ask to see the love in my heart, and express it without thought

I ask to give and be of service

And I ask for your guidance in every place in my life today

And that my birth from today comes with ease and gentleness

Love and kindness.

Dear ones I am with you now. Call on me. I love you all as my own children and want you to come back home.  You will not be judged, nor will anyone.

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